Today, my friends in South Africa are saying farewell to Guizelle, who succumbed to cancer and left this earth on Saturday 1st March.
My friend Michelle has captured beautifully the essence of this special woman, and allowed me to share it with you.
I’d also love to ask, “How would you like to be remembered?” and invite you to use this as inspiration to stop post-poning the important stuff, to get very clear about who you are and what’s important to you, and get on with living your life on purpose!
“I cannot believe I am standing here today saying farewell to the most wonderful friend anyone could wish for. I feel deeply honoured that you asked me to speak about my friend, who we affectionately called Bokkie. A huge hole has been left by her - no one was the same after being in the presence of Guizelle. She was the eternal mother to everyone who knew her.
When I started thinking of how to describe my friend the first word that popped into my head was passion. Bokkie was deeply passionate about everything she believed in. If she wanted to learn something, she didn’t read one or two books as most mortals would do. She studied every book on the subject that was every written by anyone. She gobbled up knowledge. She was completely fearless and upstream in her thinking and behaviour. She would go where angels fear to tread, and she would not back off if she believed in something strongly enough.
She had a great pioneering spirit, always seeking new ground, new thinking, new ways of working with people, most passionate about helping everyone along their personal journey which changed their lives for the better. She was the kindest and most gentle person, loyal and caring, sometimes covered up by her larger than life persona. In the workshops she ran with us, she shook people’s belief systems, opened their minds and introduced them to a world of self insight and awareness that most had never experienced or thought existed.
She changed the lives of most people she knew and even those she only met briefly were touched and moved by her. Her task was not an easy one because some people resisted her teaching initially, but she persisted in her theories and ultimately everyone loved her, and everyone has been the richer for having met her.
My friend Karynne in Australia (who met Guizelle on her trips here) believes that the greatest gift we can give our friend in her memory is to live our own lives fully. To quote the words of a song called Unwritten, live your life with arms wide open. Guizelle lived her life with arms wide open.
She was the most creative and a wonderful cook always prepared with passion, joy and zest! We had many wonderful dinner parties with delicious food and lots of laughter and fun and always a seriously intellectual discussion and argument as brain food. She surrounded herself with beauty.
She built a beautiful home, surrounded by tall tranquil trees, filled it with beautiful furniture, a piano so she could play beautiful music and planted exquisite smelling lavender all around. Such a tragedy that she was not able to live in it long enough to live her dream.
Guizelle was my soul sister. Unlikely sisters because I am short and she was so tall! We spoke of being gypsies together in a previous life. We both had an affinity for the ‘gypsy’ life which I think represents not being ordinary and being different and irreverent. We understood each other, were so comfortable with in each others company. She never judged me. She always supported and encouraged me. She always stood by me when I needed her.
In the early days of our friendship we were gym partners. I would get up at 4.30 am to get ready to start training with her at 5.30. Unlike the kugels who arrived at the gym, all made up, with their designer gear, we arrived with no make up, in our old gym togs, but ready to work out. We always complained to each other about how we were ‘suffarrinng’, but we had such fun, and of course Bokkie had the correctly worked out training programme, well researched (!), and we trained hard.
We had some wonderful moments at her parent’s home in Plett. She and I drove down to Plett one December. Bokkie on the road was a nail biting experience! She drove like she everything else she did in life, at a pace and close up!! But once we were in Plett, we both became placid beached whales. Lying on the sand, soaking up the sun, and restoring our souls. She would ask if I needed her to talk to me. I said no, and we lay content, at peace.
Bokkie in the movies was an experience on its own! If we saw a scary movie she would scream. American movies were a no, no, and she would behave badly during those. I recall going to see Shall we Dance - Guizelle was hysterical with laughter during the scenes which were intended to be very serious. She was the entertainment!
We started dancing together 3.5 years ago. She joined in the Salsa and Argentine tango classes with me, run by our friends Tony and Marda, and also took private lessons at the studio. Of course she danced with the same sense of purpose with which she tackled everything else. She GOT the steps immediately, where I would take ages. Sadly, soon after she started dancing, cancer struck the first blow, and she gave up, while she started on this long and arduous journey which ended on 1 March. Bokkie - Tony and I will dance a dance in your memory. I know you will be there watching.
Guizelle fought her cancer with a vengeance. With a bravery that was remarkable she researched and chose alternative ways of treating this terrible disease. She tried every avenue she could, not wanting or trusting traditional medicine, but finally giving in to it. She always asked what my intuition was – would she survive. She believed what I said. I always said she could beat this, if she believed. I could never tell her what my real fears were. I truly believed that if anyone on earth could beat this, she could. During her last days on this earth she wanted to go to Plett, and walk on the sand and be in the water. That was her dream. We all encouraged the dream.
The most amazing thing about my friend’s generosity of spirit was that while she was struggling so valiantly, was that she bought me the most beautiful gifts in Paris. She was struggling to breathe and was so exhausted but still found time to find the perfect gift for her friend. I will treasure these gifts forever.
And now my friend has gone. Taken from this earth at far too young an age. I know she felt that her journey here wasn’t over. I am sure she is sad that she has left. I know she felt blessed with all the wonderful people who wanted to see her when she was ill.
I am also sure that she will be sorting out the angels and make sure that they find a cure for cancer, and she will coach them all to be better angels than they already are!
Guizelle you have touched the hearts of countless people. You have changed the lives of many more. Thank you for being a wonderful friend. I miss you dreadfully. In my dreams I’ll always see you soar across the sky. I’ll always a keep a part of you with me.” - Michelle
